Hey Lovelies! I feel so much gratitude as I write this because ’tis another day of life and another opportunity to carpe diem, so with that said, happiest day to all of you reading this post today!
In case you didn’t recognize me, well certainly it’s due to an appearance change. That’s right, the switch up just totally happened! The faux bangs are gone as well as my infamous extensions. Why the abrupt change? Well, I had a moment the other day in which I wanted to shave my entire head to bald. In that moment, literally and figuratively my head felt heavy and having the weave in my hair (which is something I only do for day-to-day convenience), didn’t make the situation any better.
I’ve sorta felt as of late that the weight of the world has been on shoulders and because I am who I am, I’m always wanting to help others in whatever capacity I can. There comes a point in a person’s life when extending yourself too thin catches up to you, trust and believe me. Saying “NO” isn’t something I’m accustomed (sad to admit this), but I’m always a yes ma’am kind of girl. Now I know this isn’t a superrrr terrible thing, but having these traits can wear and tear on your physical and mental state. All things in moderation I’m learning…… As of late, I decided that I had to become slightly more attentive to myself in order to self-improve my own state of being which required me to focus a lot more on me. In lieu of trying to put action behind what I set out to do, I often feel guilty for not being as available or helpful as I would normally and as a result, I’ve felt anxiety and depression. You see this really isn’t my norm to not be eager to help, be there for/assist those who seek these things from me.
Life has forced me to stay more still and put my energy into God and myself right now. I have been really optimistic about these changes in my life, but unfortunately, the drastic implementations in not being the person I have been for decades led me to feel heavy and weighty which initiated the removal of extensions from my hair last week. The moment I completed this task, I felt 100% better and threw out the idea of shaving my head entirely. Taking out my extensions served as a metaphor of freedom, something I’ve probably needed for a very long time. In talking to my best friend who is one year away from earning her doctoral degree in Psychology, she constantly tells me that I shouldn’t feel guilty for switching things up. Instead, I should communicate that I’m not as available as I normally am, etc. instead of avoiding those who seek my help which has been bringing about the unnecessary and unwanted feels of excess weight on my shoulders, stress, anxiety, and depression.
The ability to say “no” or not being able to assist others, or not being available as much as I have been throughout the years can happen in some periods of one’s life. What should I do, you might be wondering? Well, accepting that I can’t be everyone’s savior has probably been the most difficult pill I’ve had to swallow, but a lesson I needed to learn eons ago. Switching things up, isn’t an entirely terrible thing either because in this period of me getting the necessary clarity I need for my life from God and working out the kinks I need to for me will only make me a better individual and honestly, that’s my main goal in life – to be my best self, in all things in all ways!
Peace and Forever Blessings,